


my heart, new

by syrenhug



Series: my heart - [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Babies, Canon Compliant, Cats, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Five Years Later, Fluff, Friendship, Future Fic, Humor, M/M, Neil is 23 and Andrew is 25, Nonbinary Character, Pregnancy, Trans Male Character, dad!Andrew is needed in these trying times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 06:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10691802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syrenhug/pseuds/syrenhug
Summary: “Ew, children.” Allison shudders.Dan fake pouts. “Wow, that’s exactly what I used to say about you, Allison.”They stick their tongues out at each other. Renee sighs. Her fingers are twirling strands of Allison’s hair slowly. Neil loves girlfriends.





	my heart, new

**Author's Note:**

> if your wondering neil and andrew are high school teachers which i only mention briefly. most of the foxes are also teachers/professors except dan who is an exy coach, matt is an exo pro who owns a bookstore and allison who is a fashion designer who owns her own modeling agency. plus the running meme aka aaron: he's a research assistant 
> 
> \- pregnancy is talked about but won't be detailed in stages so if you can handle this much then your good. next chapter is just pure baby fic with dad!andrew  
> \- also if you think at 25 andrew would still be as angsty and dickish as he was at 20 then please....come talk to me when you realize that's not how life works my frans

“Why is there a cat in our apartment?”

Neil’s head pops up from underneath the counter. He has all ingredients in the bowl, well stirred but he’s been trying to find a cake pan for long enough that he might as well give up and eat an entire tub of ice cream on the kitchen floor. “Her name is Harry. Say hello."

The cat yawns, claws latching into the carpet. 

Andrew yawns too, stretching languidly. His t-shirt rides up to show his flat stomach - Neil can't relate with his uterus and all - and prominent V-line that Neil likes to trace with his fingers. God, he’s tired. “Okay. Now explain why you’re awake at 2am.”

“I’m hungry so I’m making cake.”

His boyfriend closes his eyes for so long Neil thinks he’s fallen back asleep. After a few seconds, he sighs. “What kind of cake?”

“Vanilla.”

Andrew grimaces. “Basic. Why must you hurt me?”

“Oh, babe, you haven’t felt true pain just yet. It’s sugar free.”

His boyfriend’s lips pull forward, eyebrows scrunching together. The picture of disgust.

“I’m going back to sleep. Never speak to me these cursed words again.”

* * *

“I’m hot.” Andrew complains because the AC is broken and four people in a small apartment is enough to feel sweaty and gross. Nicky looks over with a grin. Years as a marketing professor in Germany has done nothing to settle him.

“Yes, you are.”

Erik shakes his head. He’s smartly dressed as always because Nicky’s husband is incapable of going anywhere without looking like he’s heading to a board meeting. He even wears a watch. Andrew looks disgusted every time Erik lifts his wrist to check it. “Why must you?”

Nicky shrugs.

“Here.” Neil holds the tiny fan he’s been hogging in front of Andrew’s face. Sharing is caring. Sometimes.

“I love you.” His boyfriend whispers into the fan. It makes his voice distort in a way that reminds Neil of being a kid, lazing around the house in the moments where they weren’t running. Maybe even before they had had to start. “Neil, my sexual orientation is this fan.”

“Have fun putting your dick in that.”

Nicky giggle-snorts but Andrew only nods. “Thank you, I will.”

* * *

 “It’s nice seeing all your beautiful faces again. Germany is way more fun without all the drama but I still love y’all.” Nicky touches his chest, staring at them around the booth.

Renee questions, dipping her bread in olive oil, “Aren’t you married?”

“Yes. Let’s talk about how I’m the only one not living in sin - shut up, Aaron, heteros can live in sin.”

Andrew sips his sweet tea but Neil can see his lips curving around the straw.

“Whatever. Katelyn and I will be married soon. My job has pretty good benefits but as soon as I finish my MA we’ll set a date.” Aaron details.

Nicky nods slowly. Strokes his nonexistent beard. “Ah, right, the successful research assistant.”

Aaron’s jaw clenches. Matt is laughing behind his menu. “Scientist. I’m a research scientist.”

“Okay, sweetie, whatever makes you happy.” Nicky agrees. Allison laughs loudly, forever bold and unashamed.

“I swear you two only get worse as the years go by.” Kevin comments, playing 2048 on his phone with intense focus.

Allison flips her newly dyed brown hair. “I love compliments.”

“And I love my child who I have to get back to soon so please hurry and decide what you're ordering.” Dan taps her nails against the laminated menus in a plea for them to get moving.

“Ew, children.” Allison shudders.

Dan fake pouts. “Wow, that’s exactly what I used to say about you, Allison.”

They stick their tongues out at each other. Renee sighs. Her fingers are twirling strands of Allison’s hair slowly. Neil loves girlfriends.

“Are we ever going to order?”

* * *

“I may have accidentally sort of adopted five cats.”

Roxi puts her hand on Neil’s shoulder. Which would be a 100% more soothing of she also wasn't using it as a place to prop her fingers as her nails dry. “Are you okay?”

“Maybe you're filling a void?” Forest suggests from their spot on the couch. Two - Louis and Zayn - out of his five cats are trying to jump on to cuddle with them. They're so cute, Neil could cry.

“What void? There’s no void. I have no holes that haven’t been filled.” Neil says then cringes. Forest laughs so hard they fall of the couch. The cats meow and scatter to-and-fro, thinking it's a game.

“I’m sure you don’t.” Roxi purrs suggestively. 

“Both of you are assholes. I'm serious. I don't know what's happening.”

“Sweetie. Honey. Bunches of oats. Have you ever thought that maybe you want to reproduce?”

Neil flinches. “Like, have a baby?"

“No, like have a dog.” Forest rolls their eyes. “Yes, a baby. Not that I understand why you’d want to, but those cats need to go. Your animal shelter is starting to ruin Roxi and I's reputation." 

Roxi’s mouth opens wide. “Forest! That’s so mean. But true.”

He pinches them both, trying to twist away when they retaliate by tickling him. Suddenly, they're all on the floor. And the cats are rubbing their bodies against them. Little noses bumping his hands. Roxi gets up to get more nail polish. 

"Hey."

He looks at Forest. Hums. 

"You do realize Zayn left -"

"Shhhh." Neil hushes. "Nothing after 2013 happened." 

* * *

“I’m 75% sure this won’t explode?” Andrew asks/comments, bursting into Neil’s classroom. All the students look up in horror as he holds out a plastic cup of something. And after a few seconds something does explode. It’s only slightly loud and terrifying. Neil looks up at the ceiling in prayer. 

“Mr. Minyard.” One of his students, Levi - a small cinnamon roll with green eyes and blond hair that never hesitates to ask questions when he doesn’t understand a problem - inquires tentatively.

“Yes, child-whose-name-I-don’t-know.” Andrew glances over at Neil quickly to wink. He's too unimpressed to do anything back.

“This is Geometry class.”

Andrew doesn’t blink. Which is even creepier than the random cup explosion. “Be prepared, kids. You never know when someone can come into your life and just - take you by surprise. And then go like they never came.”

Then he leaves. Neil decides to put a movie on for the rest of the period.

* * *

“So.”

“So.” Andrew deadpans, peeking over his newspaper because he’s now an old man who wears spectacles, watches documentaries and says alas unironically. Of course he’s still a dick, but like, a classy one. Neil feels a mixture of contempt and fondness rush over him for this nerd. _His_ nerd.

“How do you feel about kids?”

First, Andrew tilts his head, eyes narrowed. Second, he pushes his glasses on top of hair which is Neil’s favorite look because stray bits get caught in the frames and _wow_. Lastly, he interlocks his fingers like he’s a principal and Neil is in the office for fighting or something.

He wouldn’t mind being punished by someone who looked like Andrew.

Wow, _gay_.

“Like, in a general sense?”

“Uh.” Neil panics like knees weak, mom’s spaghetti anxiety. “Yeah, let’s go with that.”

“Gross. Annoying, too loud. But it could be worse. And I don’t completely hate my students. Why? You finally realized you’re adopting all these cats to fill a void?”

Andrew, Neil realizes in terror, actually sounds sort of sympathetic.

He gets up and says, before leaving the room, “I miss when you were an asshole.”

* * *

Dan laughs. For so long Neil puts his head in his hands. Matt is feeding Leigh whatever mashed food they’re still torturing babies with. She’s cute. Chubby cheeks and legs and wispy black hair. And she's smells amazing. Baby magic. 

Matt says, when Dan’s laughter still hasn’t tapered off, “So why don’t you just pop a couple of kids out? I know some trans guys who are totally cool and happy with it. It’s 2021, Neil.”

“Popping out? _Dan_.”

Dan shrugs. “He says silly shit like that all the time, ignore him. But, really, why not squat one or two out for the vine?”

“Vine is dead.”

Matt puts a hand over his heart even though it’s been 5 years and he was already aware. “Damn, rest in pieces.”

Dan rolls her eyes but she’s making that fond face he makes at Andrew when he’s doing something dumb but semi-relatable. “You are so weird.”

“Hear that, Leigh, your mother thinks I’m weird.” Matt coos at his daughter. Her tiny face scrunches up in distress and Dan laughs again. This time, Neil can’t help but join her.

* * *

Weirdly, when you’ve been friends with people who are friends with each other for so long, every small invite becomes a group thing.  Allison uses him as model for the clothes she designs so everyone is crowded together on the couch. Allison's building is cold and even though he's long learned not fidget while Allison is making alterations, goosebumps are real. 

Dan, twirling a glass of wine in her hand for no reason but the Drama, tilts her head. "That dress is a little shorter than usual for Neil, isn't it?" 

Renee lays it out flat while playing with the pins on the table. “The dress is short on purpose. Easy access.”

“Renee.” Allison whisper-shouts. “Stop corrupting the children." 

“Imagine Andrew in a skirt.” Nicky says randomly. Even pauses in his texting Erik. 

They all still. Neil coughs. Because he’s choking, really. “Anyway.”

Suddenly Allison speaks up from where she's measuring his waist. "Uh, Neil, sweetie, have you gained weight?" 

"I don't think so? Maybe I'm bloated." He pokes at his stomach. The mirror in the room only makes him look less like himself. Maybe he _has_ gained weight. He's been feeling off but in a gross way you do after you've eaten things you don't normal consume like cake or sweets, in general. 

"Hey," Allison's voice goes soft. Her eyes are very blue. "I didn't say it was a bad thing. You look good, babe." 

She smiles at him and he doesn't hesitate to smile back. 

* * *

“The gays are back at again.” Forest cheers in their sarcastic drawl. Roxi holds a peace sign up in agreement. 

“I’m not gay.” Aaron asserts. Katelyn rolls her eyes so hard it looks painful.

Allison raises her eyebrows. She’s sipping at her drink. Neil is reminded of years ago, and he feels a wave of nostalgia so strong it could knock him over. But it hurts and heals in equal measure. How lucky he is, to have those memories to ache with. “Congratulations.”

The whole group is scattered about Eden's Twilight, talking shit about the club and each other which is what they all do best. Roland is still around, teaching a woman the tricks of the trade so that he can move on somewhere else. It seems that everyone has found their place. 

A hand settles on his hip. He doesn't need to turn around to know who it is. But does anyway. 

“You look beautiful.” Andrew says into his cheek, running his eyes over Neil's frame. 

He hasn’t worn a [dress](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/349099408599817421/) in awhile. Despite how the world is progressing, it’s still not like he can come to school, teach, wearing a dress or a skirt. So it’s nice. Freedom is one of those things you don't seem to miss until it's gone. 

Neil winks. “I know.”

* * *

After another month of feeling disgusting he decides - or Andrew does - that regardless of how he feels about doctors he needs to figure out what the fuck is going on. He's already come in the day before to pee in a cup for science or whatever. 

His doctor, Mrs. Ali, a older woman who gives Neil lollipops every time he comes in, asks, “You said you’ve been feeling nauseous? Any weight loss or stomach cramping?”

He shakes his head. “No, if anything I think I’ve gained some weight. Which is weird because I’ve thrown up more this week than I have in five years.”

“Ah,” She scratches her head. Stares at her screen like it has actual answers instead of a place to note things. Doctors always do that. Neil's pretty sure it's a coping mechanism. 

“So is it a flu? An infection?”

She sighs. “Neil. You’re pregnant.”

By the time he’s out of there, clutching pamphlets and instructions to make another appointment after he’s looked at his options, he’s gripping the steering wheel. Thinking about how birth control is a lie, his life is a lie, his friends are a lie. He doesn't need a baby. He needs to nap. Play some exy or something. After he screams into his pillow a few times. 

* * *

 All of his friend’s can’t keep a secret for longer than a day and he needs someone not as easily excited (see: Nicky) and willing to betray to win a bet (see: Allison). Which leaves him only two options.

“What did Andrew do?” Kevin asks. Aaron looks bored out of his mind already which, unsurprising. They picked somewhere halfway for Aaron's sake. It's nothing special but there's chill music playing and enough people that Neil doesn't feel as self-concious about pouring out stuff. 

“I’m pregnant.”

Aaron spits out his drink. All over Kevin’s outfit. “Uh?”

“Die.” Kevin runs a hand over his face. Takes the napkin out of it's holder and attempts to clean himself up. “Please, die, Aaron.”

“I’m sorry. I just -” Neil’s brother-in-everything-but-law stutters, staring at Neil in shock. “How did this happen?”

Kevin beats him to it.

“You see, Aaron, when two men - one of which is biologically capable of carrying a child - have sexual intercourse -”

“Don’t make me spit this drink all over you again.”

Kevin says, “Try me, bitch.”

"Weird sexual tension aside - " Aaron's loud _yuck_ almost makes him smile but he has to get it out. "I'm carrying a child." 

"Do you like, want it?" 

"Eloquent, Minyard." 

"How far along are you?" Aaron asks instead, ignoring Kevin. 

Neil swallows. "Almost four months."

"Yikes!" Kevin blurts out. Then cringes. "I mean, wow. That's almost 16 weeks." 

Aaron rests his chin on his palms. "Really?" 

Neil doesn't even know why he bothered. He takes a long swing of his water. Wishes it were something stronger even though he rarely drinks. Kevin must notice because he and Aaron order alcohol and silently toast to him. 

Even this sort of feels like a lie.

* * *

Years ago, he would have run, maybe. But he stumbles home, vision blurred with drowsiness and sees Andrew tucked into the couch, no blanket - just boxers and the hall light on. And there’s no running from this.

They’ve grown so much. It doesn’t mean it’s all perfect or that Andrew still doesn’t ask or smoke a few cigarettes on a rooftop. It doesn’t mean Andrew doesn’t wake up angry, ready to hurt and be hurt. That Neil doesn’t ever look at a knife and think about cutting himself open. But they aren’t those kids anymore. Just those adults.

“Babes. Come on, get up.” He murmurs as his boyfriend jumps a little, nose scrunching up like, like a baby.

Fuck, he’s _pregnant_.

Andrew groans. Sits up. There are marks on his cheek from the pillow, a side effect of deep sleep, and Neil kisses them softly.

“You smell like alcohol.” Andrew's voice is rough. It’s a question.

“Your brother is a mess.”

“Baby,” His boyfriend exhales. Reaches up to grip his waist and drag him on the couch with him, playfully grinding his hips into Neil's ass. “Facts so late at night really get my blood pumping.”

Neil laughs, settling on top of Andrew. Nuzzles his nose into his boyfriend’s neck and licks once just to see the responding jump. The irritated huff is just icing on the sugar-free cake. “Shut up, nerd.”

For awhile they breathe into the night together. Finally, Andrew kisses the top of his head.

“You gonna tell me what’s up with you?”

Neil closes his eyes. The day has been too long for his 23 year-old body. “Soon.”

They fall asleep on the couch.

* * *

 _meet me at the roof_ , neil texts two days later. 

andrew sends back a completely unnecessary  _ok_  2 minutes later because he knows it annoys him.

Relationships are wild. 

* * *

"So I'm pregnant. 4 months." 

Neil doesn't know what he expected exactly but Andrew saying, "I know." and pulling out one singular cigarette is not it. 

"I'm a werewolf. I can scent the kid." Andrew gives Neil an amused glance when he frowns in annoyance. "You left all your paperwork on the table, Josten. Spoiler alert: I can read. I have a MA in Education." 

"Leave me alone. I've been stressed." He whines, tipping his head against Andrew's shoulder.

"Why?" 

It's not as simple as a verbal answer because he knows that he carries it inside him like he carries everything else that's ever hurt him. He's stressed because something is growing in him and it wasn't something he planned. He's stressed because both his parents are dead and so are Andrew's and that's not their fault, well, fully, but how are they going to parent a kid when they didn't exactly have shining examples?

Most of all, he's stressed because pregnancy is something he'd always thought of as The End. When Dan had given birth to Leigh he'd felt bad for her and Matt. Because they have to take care of a human being forever, or 18 years depending on how it turns out.

“What if we fuck the kid up? Like our parents fucked us up.”

Andrew scratches his beard before answering. Neil's given up getting him to shave it. “I won’t let that happen. And I know you won’t either.”

It feels silly to cry over this. Maybe it’s hormones. He always gets weepy during his period, but this is next level.

“I don’t have to tell you this, Neil, but it’s up to you. I’m not the one carrying the bundle of cells.”

“Okay, biology teacher.”

“Fuck off.” Andrew’s eyes crinkle in the corners. “It’s research scientist to you.”

“I always knew you were Aaron in disguise. Katelyn sure got the raw end with the other one.”

His boyfriend pretends to pitch him off the rooftop, Neil snorting into his leather jacket, unlit cigarette forgotten.

It says something that they end this - string of endless memories of arguing on this rooftop - with laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> [you can talk to me on Tumblr](https://syrenhug.tumblr.com)
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> the first chapter of my vixen!neil matt/neil au should be up this weekend babes. and the 2nd chapter to this will probably make an appearance in the next few days


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